Suddenly I See.

I always seem to go for the most difficult guy. The one who causes me the most hurt, the most confusion, the most heartache. In the end, I guess I'm just searching for something that makes it all worth it. Tonight I told you I loved you, and I asked you if you thought it strange. You said no. Truth is, I loved you all along. I fell for you so long ago. Long before she happened. I knew if I said it then, it wouldn't have made any difference, it wouldn't have made any sense. It was too soon. I wondered if things would've been different if I told you, if I stopped you. If I didn't let you go so far. I never did, I never tried. I was never sure.

Love. Love is tossed around so much these days. "I love you" is the new hello. It's always easier to love what you do not know, because when you know, you find the flaws that make it even harder to love. How do you know what is love? How do you know who you love? Finally after all these months, I know I love you. And in the most tumultuous times of this relationship, I've decided to say it. Not because it makes a difference, but because I am sure. I know. I have seen every side of you, every flaw, every hurt you put me through, and still I want to be the one who's right beside you at the end of the day. All I ever wanted, was you.

Lately.

I don't generally relate to mando-pop music, because half the time I don't really understand what they're singing. I heard this song a little while back in Monster's car, and even at that point in time while things were really rocky, it sort of described the thing we had with each other. It's really one particular part of the chorus that particularly strikes me. I'm gonna do my best to type it out, because it's 4.30am and I am bored. So here goes.

你想要的我卻不能够给你我全部，
我能给的卻又不是你想要擁有的，
我们不适合也不想認輸.

Okay, fine. I gave up after the first 5 characters, the rest I just copied and pasted off some random website. ANYWAY, I do kind of think we're both too stubborn to lose out on all of this, even though we know we're just too different. Despite all the differences, I think we're still really happy. That's the only reason why we've fought for this for so long.