Conspiracy.

I fucking love cereal.

I do, really. But I've been eating it all day long because my head hurts too much for me to go out and look for food. At this point, even fast food seems rather appealing because I'm so damned hungry. No, no. I will refrain. I shall eat cereal.

Perhaps.. nothing at all.

Streamyx is being a bit of a sheep fucker at the moment. 

My head fucking hurts.

I can't type anything intelligible anymore.

So..

NGEAHMEHFOOSAHBLEH.

Good night!

Barely Breathing.

I don't trust you.

I don't trust you to make decisions that won't destroy this friendship.

I don't trust you to not hurt me, period.

I don't trust you to know when to be honest with me.

I don't trust you to not regret the things you say or do.

I don't trust you to protect my feelings.

I don't trust you to still be there at the end of the day.

I don't trust you to choose.

I don't trust you to believe that you need to do so.

I trusted you completely once,

but you proved me wrong.

It almost destroyed everything.

I hope to God you prove me wrong this time.

Before The Worst.

I am fucked.

8am classes means I should be up by.. 6.30am. It is.. 3.16am. That gives me approximately 3 hours and 14 minutes of sleep. However, that is if I fall asleep right now on my keyboard. Well, that's pretty much not happening. I'm thinking of how long tomorrow is gonna be. Ugh.

I'm listening to every single song by The Script that I have, and they're fucking amazing. I had always heard The Man Who Can't Be Moved, but had no idea who sang it and couldn't for the life of me remember any of the lyrics so I couldn't google it. But thanks to Brian, I found them and now I'm in love! Call me Mrs. O'Donoghue, thanks. On another note, Northern Downpour by Panic! At The Disco is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a long time. Check them all out.

I surprise myself each day with how much love I have for people, I really wonder how I put up with all this shit everyday. Come the fuck on, give me a break already. I'm so done with meeting the wrong guys. Each one damages you in a different way than the other, but the damage always hits the same place. Yeah, you guessed it. They aim straight for the heart. 

Anyhoo, I'm working on another new song. That's.. the third one now. For once I don't hate the songs I write. That's a good sign, right? Or maybe I've just grown more full of myself. Damn. When I grow the balls, I'll record and post them.

Now where did I put that testosterone?

The Man Who Can't Be Moved.

This is feeling somewhat Deja Vu.

I've said it before, But I seem to be caught in a vicious cycle. The things I blog about a whole year before, I can still apply to the relationships I have now. Maybe my brain works in a twisted system that always bungees me back to the same place, but the person at the start always changes. It's an awful cycle, don't you think? That once you move on for someone, you're doomed to repeat it again, but just with a different person.

It's the same situation, the same heartache, just in the different clothes and with a different face.

I am determined to stop making out life to be so melancholy, and perhaps give this overactive mind of mine a rest. It's time to take things as they come, and not think two steps ahead, because what I think might.. well, not even come to be. Maybe it will stop me from being such a cynic.

At most times, I think it's people that make their own lives difficult when things really aren't that bad. We have the tendency to worry ourselves into a rut that we are convinced are the way things are and the way things will play out, but there really is no definition in any of those thoughts, because they're all in our own heads.

If we didn't believe so much that things would turn out that like that, we wouldn't act in a way that would make them more likely to happen.

.. Why the fuck am I taking Social Psychology again?