Saturday, 23 May 2009

Chasing Pavements.

Taken from my notes on facebook.
It's been awhile since I've posted there,
But I guess my blog needs an update too.

Here goes:

We often fall in love with our own online personas. It is the person we wish we were all the time, and the person we want people to believe we are. Why else would we put up only the best pictures of ourselves, why else would we tire endlessly on writing an "about me" that we put more thought into, than any other thing we write?  

We make ourselves believe that as real our lives online appear to be, it is not the complete us. A bad hair day lasts only for a day, and we laugh about it for a day. A bad picture lasts as long as you don't delete it, and we can laugh about it for months.  

So what happens when the best of two online personas fall in love? They fall in love with the best parts of each other. But what about the worst? You can tell a person of all your mistakes, you can tell a person of all your flaws, you can tell a person of all your weaknesses, but they will never be real to them until they experience them for themselves. Because, if you only hear of these mistakes, flaws and weaknesses, you tell yourself that they're okay, that everyone has them. and you justify yourself being a good and understanding person. But if that is so, why do we hate others we know in real life for their mistakes, flaws and weaknesses? why do we not overlook these as just human?  

Because we have to live with them. because they are the mistakes, flaws and weaknesses that rub us in the face. They are the factors of humanity that we have to deal with without choice and in reality, we are not as good people as we want others to believe. 

That's when things begin to fall apart. we read about the bad, but what do we really know about it until we truly experience it?  

You are my hurt reality, and I live with this pain everyday, still choosing to be here for you despite it all but even this makes no difference, because even though you liked the best of me, you chose not to love the rest of me.  

I pray that one day I will understand what this is you're doing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a bit of an assumption that we would hate someone for their flaws, mistakes and weaknesses?

I think of flaws as the reason we endear ourselves to people. It shows that they are normal. Human. Imperfect. Interesting. Someone to care about.

Wouldn't it also be convenient if we find their flaws endearing? It'd be like having no reason to hate them. ;)

her majesty. said...

you misunderstand me there. :)

while it is convenient to find their flaws endearing, a big part of learning to love someone is to love their flaws, even if they're not endearing yes?

undeniably, there are people we hate for their flaws, mistakes, weaknesses. it's human nature just to do so, in most cases. but there are those we love despite their flaws, and sometimes we love them more because they are flawed and we are reminded that there is no such perfection, but we can still work things out to be better.

what is worst, in my opinion, is those who do not even get the chance to experience such flaws and be content with merely facade, lying to themselves saying that is all you need. these people, i think, are just setting themselves up for huge disappointments, or are indeed very, very blessed.

thanks for your feedback.

:)

Anonymous said...

I wish these people the best then. I see no reason to linger on it expecting the worst but hoping for the best. Some people's lives may cross, some may not. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, life goes on.

"Everyone needs to be loved... especially when they do not deserve it."