Follow Me.

Like dreams and hearts are easily broken,

Like words of love that remain unspoken,

Watch myself reflected in your eyes,

There could be no feeling more that I despise,

I walked the universe for your heart,

To find shooting stars had torn us apart,

As glimpses of light pulled you from land,

My despaired attempt to hold on to your hand,

I lost myself in trying to be,

The weight of your world, your gravity,

You were a song I tried to play,

But my melody was powerless to make you stay,

I'll forget who we once were but now what we are,

Hope still lives inside to dance with a star,

And none of them shine brighter than you do.

- N.

***

You told me one day that I'll find better, but sometimes better is not what your heart wants. The worst feeling on earth is not the heartbreak, because heartbreaks heal. It is the feeling of fighting for something so hard, challenging yourself and realizing that all that was for nothing. It is the disappointment that you wasted your time, and how stupid you feel for fighting so hard. 

On another note, this is something I found online written by someone who calls himself.. Evil Catullus. Hmm. It's quite beautiful, really.

Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!

She was barefoot in the garden as the moonlight caught the hem of her dress. Her hair, almost silver, was pulled up into a knot high on her head leaving a neck as graceful as a swan's vulnerable to the night air and the west wind. She was barefoot, but wore a gown that shimmered as silver-white as her hair. He approached her from the west with the wind and his scent was carried with the autumn leaves. He moved soundlessly except for the faint jingle of silver-white necklaces, tokens from old lovers. She did not acknowledge his approach with anything other than a sigh. Her back was turned to him and the west wind.
His cloak was yellow and tattered and patched many times over. His hands were brown and smooth and his teeth were very white. He smiled widely in the moonlight and black tendrils of his hair blew out towards her, as if in greeting. Had her back not been turned to him, she would have gazed upon his smile and once more been dazzled and heart-broken. She was prepared and did not turn to look, she only said, "you are leaving," it was not an accusation.

His smile faltered, but only for a moment. They always knew the Traveler left them alone; but there always had been much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Never before had there been one who did not beg, who did not ask in vain for him to stay. Smiling wider, he stared down at his brown, smooth hands and said, "I am leaving."

At this, she nodded, and silver-white hair and silver-white gown shimmered faintly in the moonlight. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, as if in benediction. There was silence except for the faint jingle of necklaces and the sound of the west wind entangling black hair with silver-white.

At last the Traveler broke the silence, awkwardly, as if he were unaccustomed to speaking, "Since you have not begged me to stay or wept, I shall grant you a boon". He was surprised at how tender his voice became. Then, quickly, "but do not ask me to stay. I may return some day, but I will not stay."

She smiled a strange, secretive smile but did not turn to look at him. Her voice sounded as if it came from very far and she spoke slowly, "I ask that you never again return this place, never again seek me out."

His smile fell, and he wrinkled his smooth, brown brow. He stared for a moment at the implacable back of the one who would not beg and felt a sudden loss. He turned on his heel and walked away, thinking of moonlight and her stories, knowing that he would be, at last, forgotten.

***

It's time I stopped wondering, It's time I stopped questioning. It's time to just live and see where life brings me, and one day I'll stop hoping that it would bring me back to you.